Reader matter:

I came across a guy online which life 500 miles away. He’s 34 and I also’m 53. The guy did let me know he had a woman he dated “locally” and that he had been simply on the website selecting pals. Three months later we understood we now have emotions each various other.

At the same time, he nonetheless shows he is having issues together with sweetheart, who isn’t some body he’s “dating” locally. He’s managing their and’ve been together for four years.

At long last made the decision we’d to satisfy to find out if it was well worth pursuing. The guy provided me with why the guy didn’t believe it absolutely was straight to do so while he had been with her. At long last provided him an ultimatum and told him I couldn’t play 2nd fiddle. The guy professed his love but said he was extremely puzzled.

Carry out I give him ultimatum, it really is the lady or me personally? Was we wrong to ask him to produce that decision?

-Nancy (Florida)

Dr Wendy Walsh’s Solution:

Oh Nancy, Nancy, Nancy! You penned if you ask me for honesty, right? Really, are you seated? Because here arrives a honey cooking pot of reality.

You are staying in fantasy area, my dear woman. You have not also came across this individual exactly who may or may not end up being a guy and just who may or may not have a girlfriend.

I extremely advise the thing is the documentary “Catfish” (available on iTunes and Netflix) about an online love con.

But even though you never accomplish that, let’s hypothetically say for a moment he is in fact which he says he’s and ignore the reality the guy began writing for your requirements by sleeping about his union condition.

Why don’t we just look at the so-called realities.

A.) He’s almost 2 decades younger than you.

B.) He is in a critical commitment.

C.) He said from the beginning he is only trying to end up being buddies.

Thus I ask you, exactly why could you exposure your own center on these a bad choice?

Issue should not be about providing him an ultimatum, but rather, if you allow yourself the really love you need?

If yes, subsequently this is simply not the horse you ought to drive to the sunset with. Operate, girl!

No counseling or therapy information: This site cannot supply psychotherapy guidance. Your website is supposed limited to use by consumers looking for general information interesting with respect to issues folks may face as individuals and in connections and relevant subjects. Material just isn’t designed to replace or serve as substitute for professional consultation or service. Contained observations and opinions shouldn’t be misunderstood as certain counseling guidance.